Huge Bangs

Notice: In the present day’s put up accommodates a phrase that begins with “p” and rhymes with “Venus.” Dad and mom, please mum or dad accordingly.

Earlier than you head out to top off on fireworks at the moment, here is a useful tip from the parents over at Lamebook:

Maybe I ought to rephrase that.

(Additionally: ow.)

What I meant was, in relation to fireworks, you really need probably the most bang to your buck:

So all the time search for the cartoon steam whistle shouting, “Bang!”

You also needs to familiarize your self with what fireworks truly look like, so you do not find yourself with a bunch of…bombs. (See what I did there?)

Even when they are patriotically


highly effective

penis-ish ones.

No, belief me, you do not need sprinkles.

I see…slushies.

Oh my gosh! They killed Blinky!

(That is the purple ghost from Pac-Man, children. Now cease making me really feel outdated.)

Necessary rocket security tip:

The flamey bits ought to all the time come out the again.

Additionally, remember your patriotic donut holes!

Not less than they remembered the blue balls this time.

Due to Jessica G., Daybreak S., Gail D., Deanna T., Amber S., Leanne O., & Saralyn T., who make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh” whereas they shoot throughout the sky-y-y.

In a firework-y means, I imply.

Not a penis-ishy means.

NEW GOAL: Work the phrase “penis-ishy” into as many dialog at the moment as potential. Beginning…NOW.


P.S. Whereas we’re flirting with that PG-13 score we could as nicely speak about bewbs, proper? So here is a shout-out to my favourite wire-free bra:

Warner’s Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

 I really like the under-arm smoothing panel – no dig or pinch! – and like most Warners, these are extremely snug. These are all I put on now! I watch the itemizing and purchase any colour that goes beneath $20, so make sure to verify all of them in your dimension. (I am a 34DDD and put on a Massive, if that helps.)

 Oh, and make sure to verify the picture gallery for a greater thought of how these look on bigger tracts of land.